There have been many times in my life that I have had to be strong.
Mustering strength when there is no strength reminds me of the pioneer women that suffered child birth with no epidurals; rode in wagon trains silently trusting their husbands; stood on the porch with a rifle aimed at a Comanche.
I like to pretend I’m a strong pioneer woman. So the hard things we’ve survived are like badges of honor for me. I do not welcome struggle, but I’m always grateful for God’s faithfulness which gives me the strength to persevere.
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 5:3-4
And hope is a good thing.
But recently, something strange is happening. My life feels suspended in mid-air. Waiting for answers that have been slow to come.
My spirit has been holding its breath.
Hope is there, but reaching for it feels scary. The line between denial and coping is very gray.
The older I get, the more often I ask myself this question: “What do I know is true?” And here’s my promise:
I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalms 27:13-14
Today I am choosing to be strong and take heart. And I will wait.