I can’t talk to anyone out loud, so I’m venting into cyber-space. I have to get to a happy place.
Bryce’s doctor called. The results of the 24-hour monitor they gave us on Feb 19 came back. He now shows to have an arrhythmia.
Here’s where my mind starts filling in the blanks. Here’s where I think I already know what’s going to happen because I’ve seen it all before. Here is when it’s hard to fight and believe for anything different.
This is like, ultra-dramatic . . . . but I feel like I’m facing my life-long nemesis in this heart disease. There is so much familiarity in this situation that it feels like a person I don’t like showed back up again in my life and I have to deal with them. I know this thing and I absolutely hate it.
I know what I believe about blessings and curses. I know what I believe about healing and God’s faithfulness. The unexpected twist is that I feel too tired at this moment to apply myself.
We’re going to be okay – I keep saying that and I truly believe it. The question is, how far down this road will we have to walk?